i am the one who blogs.
❝if you have to check your account first, you probably shouldnt be buying it.❞ — realest thing my shitty teacher has ever said (via phoeni-xx)

taehyung-the-sassy-princess:

It’s like everyone is just there for every kaisoo date…

emmeme:

firearm

beaumarbre:

inabasket:

Wow, the new Monsters Inc movie looks brutal. 

i laughed for 10 years at the caption

the-captains-wife:

dutchster:

worldpeaces:

can we just take a second to realize that there are 14 year olds that weren’t born in the 90’s. just fucking let that sink in.

what the fuck does he want now

image

Thats it that’s the single greatest pun on tumblr

baebees:

kenfucky:

THIS IS MY FAVORITE VINE

what the fuck is thuis.w aht does it mean

can-u-not-my-wayward-son:

can-u-not-my-wayward-son:

why is there a huge jug of oregano??? who the fuck puts oregano in brownies?????

i have been informed that it is not oregano but is in fact marijuana

oh

when chanyeol got confused between football and baseball

inkskinned:

it always really bothered me when wait staff ignored me + my friends just because we were young bc we are all really respectful people but the assumption was that we wouldn’t tip

anyway so fast fowards to when i became a waitress and one day this group of scrubbyass kids came in and i had 8 other tables with other people to look to but i overheard that one kid wanted a milkshake but he couldn’t afford it and the other kids offered to pay but he was like “nonono it’s fine” and i looked over and he just looked real run down and sad and stuff —- later it just so happened that our kitchen had a mixup so we had an extra shake and since it would just be dumped otherwise, i snuck it out to their table and gave it to him for free

and his friends were so fucking impressed by this they pooled every fucking cent they had i got a $50 tip and later his friend’s mom came in and said “i heard what you did for that boy” and gave me another 20 and offered me a better job working with her

and meanwhile at my other table a rich white guy i was serving complained bc he didn’t want to pay the 15% tip on a $8.90 bill and when his wife said “she’s been a good waitress, though,” he said, “but just plain good isn’t worth 15%”

mb